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Archive for November, 2009

Maintaining a Good Friendship

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Like any other relationship, a good friendship takes time and effort to build and cultivate. It just like a seedling, first you plant it, and then you need to care for it and feed nutrients now and then. You observe and appreciate it as the seedling gradually grows into something flourishing and beautiful. It is necessary to spend time and effort in maintaining a friendship so as to grow a very good friendship. Be an equal contributor to the friendship. You should understand your attentions are one of a giving nature not one of expectation, which means you are willing to contribute something to the relationship in order to grow it, and make sure that the giving is mutual. Everyone does not want such a friendship where you are continuously contributing while the other one just sits there doing nothing and sucks all your efforts.

Be a good listener. When a friend is telling you something, sometimes he or she is not looking for an opinion or advice but rather a sounding board to vent to. People always know what they have to do and need to do, but you should know it would be positive for them to express an uninterrupted idea in handling the situation. Sure, there are possibilities that a friend will elicit your non-judgmental advice, and you may help them go through the difficult situation by giving them the responsible words. Be witty when pointing out a friend’s mistakes. There are times when people may not be aware of their mistakes or may felt what they did is reasonable. Taking a sincere and honest attitude instead of harping on the situation until you are blue in the face, otherwise, you will end up with both hurt feelings and a possible loss of the friendship.

Try not to be a clingy, needy and controlling friend. Every friendship has its breathing room, and a real friendship will stand different severe tests, such as tests of time and distance. Of course, you may enjoy spending sometime with your friend but not being with them all the time. Know when to agree to disagree. Different people have different opinions, and it is normal phenomenon that further makes each person in the friendship interesting. However, the friendship can be destroyed when people are arguing over insignificant and petty things.

Learn to keep private information private. When a friend confides in you with some private information and wants you keep it, then you should make sure it is not blabbed to other people. Only in the case that the private information shows your friend is in a harmful situation, and then you should help them seek out help. Sometimes a third party may be involved so as to help you best assist the friend.

Wedding Etiquette For A Second Marriage

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

When thinking of the second marriage, you may feel worried and confused. Somehow, you need to solve the situation so you are confident enough to enter your second marriage. Learn the wedding etiquette for a second marriage will help you lessen the pressure and tension that your first family left.

Here are some information for you on wedding etiquette for a second marriage.

* Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage – Announcing Your Engagement: In getting wed for the second time, your major concerns will be the second marriage’s effect on your children, if you have any, and to your close relatives. If you plan to remarry, your children should know first of your decision. You must ready your children for having a new family and new brothers and sisters. Uniting two families will not be stressful for you but for your children, most especially.

The next to be informed are your parents. Of course, they need to be in your wedding and informing them is a sign of courtesy to them. Next will be your ex, especially if you have arranged joint custody for the children. He should know that there will be some changes in your household. Also, you should wear your new engagement ring. There mustn’t have any trace of old flames on your fingers the moment you begin planning and announcing your second wedding.

* Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage – Dress Issue: Widow brides who are getting married for the second time are expected to wear lilac or lavender dress. But these does not hold true nowadays. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage gives bride a chance to wear white dress again. Divorced brides can also wear white dress although they could remove the veil and tiara and instead simply wear flowers on your head.

* Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage – Who to Invite? When planning for your second wedding, think that you can invite any person you want to attend to your wedding. Refrain from inviting former in-laws and ex-spouses, even if you are on good terms with them. Guests may also feel awkward seeing and being around them.

If your children, however, requested that their father should be in the wedding, try to talk them out about it and tell them how awkward it would feel for the new in-laws and the new groom to see an ex-spouse around. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage does not obligate you to invite an ex-spouse to your second wedding, although you may do so if the situation warranted.

But if your new groom agrees to the idea of inviting an ex-spouse as requested by the children and your ex-spouse agreed on it, then you may invite your ex-spouse to attend your second wedding.

But there is a more sensible idea than inviting your ex-spouse to your wedding. Invite him to a dinner, perhaps at your home, with your children and new husband, if he is up to it. Tell your children that the dinner replaces the wedding invitation and your children may finally agree on not invitating their father on the wedding day. You may do this before or after your wedding or honeymoon.